This is what moon river Looks Like

This is what a Nightmare looks like


THIS IS JUST PLAIN GOING TO HURT


This is what a blonde's car looks like

THIS IS WHAT SAD LOOKS LIKE

THIS IS WHAT SORRY LOOKS LIKE


This is what bad spelling looks like

This is what intimacy looks lik


This is what deaf looks like

This is what stupid looks like

This is what 'oh shit' looks like

This is what McBurndt looks like

This is what 'I can wait' looks like

The car pictured is a Mercedes Maybach. Notice the 'recliner' rear seats, and the 'electrostatic' sunroof.

The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on the passengers preference.

NOW, STOP DREAMING AND GET
BACK TO WORK! (BE HAPPY
WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT)!

they should not get into the habit

Makes you wonder who goes in there!!

It might have been more usefull on the OUTSIDE

All stand!!!

Adverts get everywhere!!

Neat photo, something for you to try Usky

Oh Ray !!

Eye Eye!!!

An Eye for a good Photo

STROKE:Remember
The 1st Three Letters....S.T.R.

My nurse friend sent this and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree.

If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.
Seriously..

Please read:

STROKE
IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ......she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.

They got her cleaned up and got he r a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.

Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die.... they end up in a helpl ess, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 999 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other,that is also an indication of a stroke.

MY FAVORITE!!

I'm Confused

Load 'em up with Beans, Mum!!

Looks like UPS wins!!!

Mass suicides...Cows On the edge...tonight on Sky News..

What?


Still Dead, Huh??? Go Figure...

How the hell can I write if I'm ILLITERATE!!!!

Beautiful, lush lawns of dirt.....

Oh, come on... just one?

starting with spelling

I think it was the FedEx driver

Take me to the cleaners, baby!

It's a good deal, but... oh, the college costs!

  


What? Too many shakes?

Speling iz knot imprtunt fir astranawts

Make up your mind!!!

Don't drink and make signs...

I bet this is by the school that teaches Arithetic

Sometimes a name change is the best idea.

Pork the one you love?


Major dilemma in California 

Everything you need for your 'shotgun' wedding!

Good Job!!

Your horn sticks on the Motorway behind 32 Hell's Angels.

The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.

You call the Samaritans and they put you on hold.

You get to work and find a "Sky News" waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

Your 4-year-old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.

You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humour is putting super glue in your haemorrhoid cream

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

You start to put up the clothes you wore home from the party last night....... and there aren't any.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.

You wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought a waterbed.

Your car payment, Mortgage, and girlfriend are three months overdue.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/ex-husband.

Your income tax refund cheque bounces.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.

You need one bathroom scale for each foot.

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.

The restaurant bill has been on the table for ten minutes...and no one has touched it.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, porter and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your new Wife.

You receive a 150 page instruction booklet on how to save money...from the electric company.

Airline food starts to taste good.

Your mother approves of the person you are dating.

Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.

You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.

You realize that you have memorized the back of your cereal box.

Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your sock drawer.

Everyone loves your driver's license picture.

You realize that the phone number on the bathroom wall of the bar is yours.

Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.

The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.

People think you are 40...and you really are.

You are pigging out at McDonald's by yourself and the manager orders the numbers on the sign outside changed.

Your new lover calls to tell you "Last night was terrific." and you remember that you were home by yourself.

Everyone is laughing but you.

AND REMEMBER: Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you always know they are there

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT! And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Iberian Lynx - The Lynx, the most endangered of the world’s 36 cats, stands on the edge of extinction. This lynx was once distributed over the entire Iberian Peninsula but now its area is severely restricted in Andalusia. Threatened by destruction of habitat and of its prey, the cat was killed by traps set for rabbits or hit by cars as the number of roads increase. The Spanish Government is now in the process of developing a national conservation effort to save the Iberian Lynx. Studies from March 2005 have estimated the number of Lynx to be as few as 100,

Seychelles Sheath-tailed Bat - Inhabiting the central granitic islands of the Seychelles Islands north of Madagascar, the bat is part of our list, being one of the most endangered animals since fewer than 100 are believed to exist in the world.

Baiji (Yangtze River Dolphin) - With no more than a few tens of individuals, the dolphin is one of the world’s rarest mammals,

Chameleons are very rare animals.  They are found in all kinds of biomes.  They can live up to 10 years or even longer.  They also can change colours to blend in with their environment.  Their diet consists of tiny birds, mammals and insects.  Chameleons' enemies are pollution, other animals, diseases, and people.

rare leaf-eating proboscis monkey. 

Five newborn white lion cubs take a catnap at the Jordan Zoo.
White lions, which originated in South Africa, are actually African Lions. The rare animals are the result of a recessive gene that gives them striking white coats instead of the normal golden fur. Though white lions are rare in the wild, about 30 live in captivity worldwide

The Vancouver Island Marmot - This marmot is found only in the high mountainous regions of Vancouver Island, in British Columbia, the Canadian Species at Risk Act listing it as endangered in May 2000. In 1998, the population reached an all-time low of 75 individuals,

Without argument, this turtle is one of the few species of Giant Galapagos tortoises and the rarest animal in the world since there is only one left alive.

Red Wolf - This wolf is a smaller and a more slender cousin of the gray wolf, historically ranging from southeastern United States to Florida and Texas. Now, their home is the 1.7 million acres throughout northeastern North Carolina, including Alligator River National Wildlife Refuge and Pocosin Lakes National Wildlife Refuge. Only 20 pure red wolves were estimated in 1980,  just over 100 red wolves currently live in the wild.

A baby slender loris, one of the strange and rare .animals that are the focus of a conservation program launched by the Zoological Society of London.

Northern Hairy-nosed Wombat - In the 19th century this species of wombat was present in New South Wales and Victoria but now can only be found in a small national park near Epping Forest Station in tropical Queensland. While this area has been protected as a National Park, the native grasses that the wombat eats are overtaken by non-indigenous plants. The Northern hairy-nosed wombat is the rarest Australian marsupial, and probably the world’s rarest large mammal

A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.

A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio, but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.

It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room carpet
.
People behind you in a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.

The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

The lift stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his trolly into the back of your ankle.

The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.

There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.

There's a dog in the street that barks at EVERYTHING.

There's always a car up your backside when you're slowing down to find an address.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

When you need a salesperson, you can never find one.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.

You drink from a coke can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago, and now you can't find it.

You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

You wash some clothes with a tissue in the pocket and your entire washing comes out covered with lint.

Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

I want to live my next life backwards!

You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.

Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend
several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon
you're too young to work.

So then, you go to high school: play sports,date,drink, and party.

As you get even younger, you become a kid again!

You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities.

In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves
ragged keeping you happy.

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap.

Until finally...You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.