Miscarriages of justice.

A common shout but it is a two way thing with the criminal having the advantage why?…because of our stringent law.. I have no better solution than maybe bringing in the "common sense act"…let me explain.

I was with others on patrol in central London, Berkley square now I think of it…when we saw two lads who looked out of place in the area at that time of night  (stereotyping…you bet!!). So we decide to speak to them…As we stopped and I get out, one of the lads is off like a jack rabbit..and I am off after him…he is a lot younger than me but I can control my adrenaline better,  and if I can keep with him for the first 200 metres he will get adrenaline fatigue and slow right down.

As we run up the street I can see he has a shopping bag and he throws it hitting a parked car..a mini I recall this as it set of the car alarm…Up the street turn left,  down the street, I am 20 metres behind, he turns right, ..i turn right…gone…ah he has run out of juice and gone to ground!!  look under nearest car…”Ok!.. pant…out you come... pant gasp!!…yeah pant!..splutter.... pant!.. yeah ok! don’t pull”. He stands up and I grab him and cuff him we both stand there for a second and get our breaths back…I search him checking for weapons and find some cannabis. Your nicked son I say. You know the caution do you. He recites it to me…been in trouble before then??? We both chuckle at my sarcasm. as we walk back to the place he ran from, he says to me "I’m right in the shit they are gonna cut me"…sorry I say??   "when they find out they are gonna cut me", I remind him he’s under caution and we get to the car. In the bag there is 6 huge slabs of cannabis resin  I further arrest him for possession with intent to supply, and he shakes his head saying "this is bad man I’m gonna get cut".

We go back to the nick and book him in. by the time he gets a brief he makes a  no comment in interview and he is then charged. I oppose bail as he has failed to appear on eight previous occasions and has 17 convictions for drugs, 2 for burglary and 3 for robbery….the custody sergeant asks the brief if he wants to argue. he says no thanks my client is more than happy to be in custody…I ask him why and the brief just says ..he feels safer with you.

So the case goes to crown court as he has gone not guilty. And the jury is in place …I am first on and give my evidence..no problems and then his barrister asks the judge to have a request made regarding a point of law…the jury are sent out and then the barrister asks me again about the point that his client allegedly threw the bag and the time it took to come back and pick it up… we agree on about 4 minutes until a police officer is with it and another two till I get back to it …he makes a case that his client indeed did throw a bag but the bag he threw contained pornography mags,.. playboy, mayfair that sort of  stuff and was embarrassed to be found with it …that’s why he ran…and indeed the bag we picked up was not in fact the one we threw…there was 4 minutes where his clients bag was laying there ..anyone could have picked it up and indeed ignored the bag that was in fact already abandoned there by some one else, the one that had the drugs in it!….we could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that the bag he threw was the bag we picked up  (we had established that the fingerprints were too smudged to prove they were his and DNA was not around)  therefore he said to the Judge  "the prosecution cannot prove the case and my client should be set free".

The judge thought for a bit and asked me did any officer stay with the bag when he first threw it…no says I “one was helping me the others were chasing the other lad”

“In that case said the judge I have no option but to dismiss the case” “next time officer it would be advantageous if someone is able to say that the object in question was in sight of police at all times” he turned to the young lad who was grinning from ear to ear. You are free to go young man…Huh hum! went the clerk of the court. There is another matter your honour. Mr X was also charged with possession of cannabis which he has already pleaded guilty and awaits sentencing…judge looks at the sheet and says “well young man seeing as you were remanded we will call that time served and you can go”…

Outside the court I am stood talking to someone and the lad comes up to me and says “that was a result I cant believe the old wanker believed that story you must be gutted”.. “I was gonna cop a plea, glad I listened to the brief..you must be well gutted mate…I turn “weird old system eh! what would you have done if he didn’t go for it”…”we woz gonna say that you fitted me up”. I laugh and say what? with 6 slabs of resin?? Bit much” …”yeah but we would have given it a run”. Where you off to now …I am off up north..the guys from the night club want to give me a kicking for losing their stuff so I have to keep me head down…see ya!!

Pleeeeezzzzzeee! CanI

The Eternal Embrace

WTF!!.

Chicargo at night!

It was opening night at the theatre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude took to the stage,he announced, 'Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.' The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat. I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.

It's a very special watch.It's been in my family for six generations.' He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch....'

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. ' SHIT ! !' said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.

People ask me about the risks and decisions we make every day at work

A call came in from another police station they had had a man come in to the front counter and stated that he had stabbed his girlfriend and left her upstairs on the bed. He was not sure how bad she was.

They asked if we could go round and check the address and see if things were ok, it was said that he was a bit odd and seemed to have mental health issues and it could be a hoax.

So we head off to the address and on route further info comes in that he said that he had left the gas on!!!

We arrive at the address and the first thing to do is have a sniff through the letter box….yep there is a strong smell of gas.

So first dilemma and decision do we wait for the fire brigade to arrive or do we go straight in…having knocked and shouted with no reply.

I decide that we will go in very carefully as to not cause any sparks and straight away open all the windows as the girlfriend mat require immediate help.

We go in by forcing a panel on the door and we open all the doors and windows and air the place turning off the gas we go upstairs and find the girlfriend on the bed sadly she is dead.

Downstairs we find her 24 year old son who has also been murdered and in the kitchen we find the family dog that has been stabbed through the heart

When I tell this story it is significant to mention that no-one says anything till I get to the dog in the kitchen and immediately I get exclamation such as “the bastard” …what a twat”…”the evil git”…no such outcry when I mention the humans. Strange and a bit sad..

Anyhow we are securing the house when I get called over by an officer…"take a look at this Guv".

I look in the cupboard and there is a burning candle shinning brightly from the dark interior!!!……

This is a brick layer's Accident report, which was printed in the newsletter
of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning” as the cause of my accident.

You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,

I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the
pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and
presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty
barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two
broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry