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Possibly the funniest story in a long while.

by jackfrost @ Thursday, 24. Jul, 2008 - 20:57:14

This is a brick layer's Accident report, which was printed in the newsletter
of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning” as the cause of my accident.

You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,

I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the
pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and
presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty
barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two
broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry


 
 

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smitty1247smitty1247 [Member]
24/07/08 @ 21:16

:))

That is a great story.

Great find Jack.

jackfrostjackfrost [Member]
24/07/08 @ 21:34

poor s.o.b :))

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
24/07/08 @ 21:32

:)) ..Crackin' !

jackfrostjackfrost [Member]
24/07/08 @ 21:35

:) ouch!

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
24/07/08 @ 21:38

Just a tad :))

tylluanpenrytylluanpenry pro
24/07/08 @ 22:03

Great story, and I'm going to be a party pooper here.... it was originally written by a famous tuba player and cartoonist called Gerald Hoffnung and was part of a speech delivered to the Oxford Union - the original text can be found here:
http://monologues.co.uk/004/Bricklayers_Story.htm

He also wrote some very misleading advice for tourists which contains the little gem:
"Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a French widow in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects" :)

jackfrostjackfrost [Member]
24/07/08 @ 22:10

it goes back to 1895!:)

tylluanpenrytylluanpenry pro
24/07/08 @ 22:48

Excellent! So even Hoffnung had borrowed it from someone else! Classic story though! :yes:

jackfrostjackfrost [Member]
24/07/08 @ 22:58

and true:)

denzil85denzil85 pro
24/07/08 @ 22:23

I guess that should have been the 1895 Darwin Award winner then :))!

joebanglesjoebangles [Member]
24/07/08 @ 22:48

Dosen't matter where it came from, first time that I have heard it, think it's a great letter.

jackfrostjackfrost [Member]
24/07/08 @ 22:57

I do know that it is true:)

EllieGantEllieGant pro
24/07/08 @ 23:26

I larfed so much I made the dog wake up! :))

some1elsesome1else [Member]
27/07/08 @ 01:24

Coincidentally I just watched an episode of mythbusters the other day and they were working on this one. Apparently it could well happen like that if the barrel broke, but due to long-standing barrel designs, the curve of the sides would more than likely wedge the bricks inside even if the bottom of the barrel completely smashed. See if you can find the episode, it's really great to see what lengths the guys go to to get a bit of destruction going :yes: and they've got other really good stories that they prove/disprove. :)

jackfrostjackfrost [Member]
27/07/08 @ 08:52

will do !

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