Trauma…Psychological trauma but what does it really mean…having served in the Army and the police I have had to deal with Psychological trauma, dealing with some quite horrific events. I have seen people shot, blown up, I have dealt with sudden deaths, cot deaths murders violent attacks, bombing victims and the list goes on…

The after effects of every incident is something that I and my colleagues have learned to deal with and to a small extent, begun to understand the process that we have to go through …however I have noticed that people I know, acquaintances and friends, who in their everyday life don’t often have to deal with or witness such events, they are fortunately mostly infrequent in most peoples lives.

But when it does happen I can see the confusion in their faces as they struggle to deal with the emotions and consequences of what they have witnessed…it maybe a fatal accident or they may have been attacked or robbed or seen a child badly hurt burgled verbally abused, ….and it has come to my notice that there is no explanation available to them to help them through the process….

So I thought I would share with you the emotions and mind set that emergency worker goes through every time they deal with such things….Why …because I have realised that your everyday person who hopefully, only having to deal with such things rarely, can be confused and ashamed by what they are thinking and disturbed by what they are feeling.

I can start out by telling you that what you go through is very normal and everyone goes through it no matter how many times it occurs and will affect you to varying degrees

I will give you a typical example…you are out in the street shopping or walking you see a child running towards the road..you see the car and start to shout, then everything slows down as the child runs into the road and is struck by the car. Then everything speeds up there is shouting people running to help. You do what you can .. The police and ambulance turn up and suddenly it is over, your name and address is taken and your told that the police will visit you to take a statement, and the next thing you’re alone walking …you forget where!!....

The incident can be anything a major event or a minor event, it matters not, because now you are going to start the process…your mind is replaying the events you see it happen again and again ..but each time you change it slightly.

On one occasion you run and dive saving the child another you manage to stop the vehicle in time and the child runs off safely or you save their life by giving first aid varying from mouth to mouth to stoping the bleeding but in every scenario you save the child…but the reality comes back that he is dead and there was nothing that you could do …you beat yourself up thinking “if only I hadn’t chatted with Mrs. smith I would have been close to him and stopped him running out…your partner,wife,friend,mate,sister comes home and you tell them all about it you explain how you could do nothing and they reassure you that you couldn’t. But the guilt is creeping in, you know that you could not have done anything ..but still there is a nagging guilt…

You go to bed exhausted but the flashbacks keep coming the different scenarios keep replaying and every time you save the child…you get up you try to talk to someone but stop yourself as you think they will be annoyed at being woken or think you are being stupid….surly no one else thinks like this surly it means that I am weak or different maybe this is the start of a break down.….You don’t tell anyone,… you keep it in, but you are tired you resent the person closest to you for not knowing what your feeling you snap at them …Oh they ask you if your ok ..you always say yes …after all no one else feels like you do.
Every night you have these dreams but they start to fade and you start to block the memories ..But suddenly the police have come to take the statement and it all comes rushing back …you hold back tears, the policeman asks if your ok..and you always say yes…after a time it fades and you get on with life but it is there and can come back at anytime, the screech of breaks the scream of a playing child….how can you make this go away how can you help this fade how can you adjust so you can live comfortably with it???

You hear of policeofficers who have stopped a little old lady having just pulled out onto the road he stops her and ignores her explanations and gives her a £60 pound ticket…bastard!! Everyone says ..they don’t realise that that particular policeman has in the past attended a road traffic accident where the passenger has gone trough the window having taken off half their face, he/she has dealt with an accident where three teenagers died in a crash where the vehicle was only doing 28 miles an hour but the passengers in the bac,k due to having no seat belts have smashed into the ones in the front smashing open their heads . the copper had held one of them as they died…Every time he then sees a person with no seat belt the memories will come back and I can tell you that you could be the prime minister or the pope you will get a ticket every time .. a simplistic example I know but is true.

Firstly you need to know that everyone involved will go through the same thing to varying degrees everyone will play the scene through their minds to try to see a happy outcome…everyone involved will think that they are the only ones affected by it everyone does not realise they are suffering from Trauma.

Having witnessed been involved with many traumas I understand that this process is normal and natural …this helps me to talk to others about it . Back at the canteen we will go over the details each understanding that everyone is doing the same thing ..it is re assuring to know that your not alone and your not going mad…sure we all put on some sort of front and we look for the tell tell signs that show that someone needs a bit more help …we will often go for counselling…which is again just sharing your thoughts being re assured that it is a coping mechanism…

So if any of you should be involved in an event that brings on what I have described, well talk to those close to you talk to someone it is part of the coping process, tell them how you feel, get it out and share it. It does fade and you will adjust the events that make you feel like this are endless so don’t dismiss them as petty…

One of my jobs is a body recovery officer and often people say doesn’t it affect you I say….I never say no I just say … Not yet.

I have only touched on the subject and maybe it makes no sense as the effects can have little twists and turns and the depth of what the mind can do is infinite, things I haven’t mentioned like the “Black humour” effect,
such as the prime and proper Policewoman who is at the scene of a suicide where a man has thrown himself at the train four officers are looking at him lying there with his legs sliced off for a split second no one moves or speaks ..she looks up and says “ He is quite a short bloke then” and immediately is horrified by what she has said as are the others that start giggling at her words. The process has begun…

If anyone is interested I can tell you about an event where someone was badly affected by an event to the extent where he could not stop crying and when we discovered why we were both amazed and wiser.

For those of you who have got to the end of this post I thank you