http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/I just want to Pass on a smile,en-UKhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/b4/e81e50334eddd18a19532df7098ec0_160x200.jpg <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/11/30/i-love-these-15265127/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/11/30/i-love-these-15265127/Fri, 30 Nov 2012 18:21:30 +0100 <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/11/22/brilliant-15235970/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/11/22/brilliant-15235970/Thu, 22 Nov 2012 19:35:35 +0100 <p>On September 7th 1920, in strictest secrecy four unidentified British bodies were exhumed from temporary battlefield cemeteries at Ypres, Arras, the Asine and the Somme. None of the soldiers who did the digging were told why. The bodies were taken by field ambulance to GHQ at St-Pol-sur-Ternoise. There the bodies were draped with the Union Flag. Sentries were posted and Brigadier-General Wyatt and a Colonel Gell selected one body at Random. </p> <p>A French honour guard was selected, who stood by the coffin overnight. In the morning of the 8th a specially designed coffin made of oak from the grounds of Hampton Court was brought and the Unknown Warrior placed inside. On top was placed a Crusaders Sword and a shield on which was inscribed 'A British Warrior who fell in the Great War 1914-1918 For King and Country'. </p> <p>On the 9th of November the Unknown Warrior was taken by horse drawn carriage through Guards of Honour and the sound of tolling bells and bugle calls to the Quayside. There it was saluted by Marechal Foche and loaded onto HMS Verdun bound for Dover.....The coffin stood on the deck covered in wreaths and surrounded by the French Honour Guard. On arrival at Dover the the Unknown Warrior was greeted with a 19 gun salute, normally only reserved for field marshals. </p> <p>He then travelled by special train to Victoria station London. He stayed there overnight and on the morning of the 11th of November he was taken to Westminster Abbey. The Idea of the Unknown Soldier was thought of by a Padre called David Railton who had served at the front during the Great War and it was the Union Flag he used as an altar cloth at the front, that had been draped over the coffin. The intention was that all relatives of the 517,773 combatants whose bodies had not been identified could believe that the Unknown Warrior could very well be their lost Husband, Father, Brother or Son.... Every year on the 11th of November remember the Unknown Warrior.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/11/10/we-must-never-forget-15188262/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/11/10/we-must-never-forget-15188262/Sat, 10 Nov 2012 16:03:18 +0100 <p><a title="1q2" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/1q2/6681330"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/330/6681330_6caed7e05e_m.jpeg" alt="1q2"></a><a title="2605_60619968558_754208558_1521708_7018952_a" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/2605_60619968558_754208558_1521708_7018952_a/6681331"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/331/6681331_efe590fa68_m.jpeg" alt="2605_60619968558_754208558_1521708_7018952_a"></a><a title="2451T" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/2451t/6681332"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/332/6681332_8741c989f0_m.jpeg" alt="2451T"></a><a title="876" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/876/6681334"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/334/6681334_d26efc250b_m.jpeg" alt="876"></a><a title="000zq1rc" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/000zq1rc/6681335"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/335/6681335_6aa888c589_m.jpeg" alt="000zq1rc"></a><a title="brace_yourself" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/brace_yourself/6681343"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/343/6681343_f66585c690_m.jpeg" alt="brace_yourself"></a><a title="1" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/1/6681344"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/344/6681344_f39d8faffb_m.jpeg" alt="1"></a><a title="cats-sleep-anywhere-6" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/cats_sleep_anywhere_6/6681347"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/347/6681347_341fa520ef_m.jpeg" alt="cats-sleep-anywhere-6"></a><a title="2" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/2/6681349"><img src="http://data8.blog.de/media/349/6681349_55533d8a9a_m.jpeg" alt="2"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/10/21/stuff-to-make-you-smile-15102710/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/10/21/stuff-to-make-you-smile-15102710/Sun, 21 Oct 2012 11:51:45 +0200 <p><a title="404374_343675478987835_177132712308780_1200616_919092946_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/404374_343675478987835_177132712308780_1200616_919092946_n/6640036"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/036/6640036_4673086ae4_m.jpeg" alt="404374_343675478987835_177132712308780_1200616_919092946_n"></a><a title="404360_328067437244744_100001244722843_1004735_491550724_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/404360_328067437244744_100001244722843_1004735_491550724_n/6640037"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/037/6640037_9d9ecd5a6c_m.jpeg" alt="404360_328067437244744_100001244722843_1004735_491550724_n"></a><a title="398644_352279771468027_223414024354603_1350054_1980223175_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/398644_352279771468027_223414024354603_1350054_1980223175_n/6640038"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/038/6640038_272eee7145_m.jpeg" alt="398644_352279771468027_223414024354603_1350054_1980223175_n"></a><a title="393193_2134091556053_1358987502_31842911_522246761_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/393193_2134091556053_1358987502_31842911_522246761_n/6640040"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/040/6640040_c752f4fd32_m.jpeg" alt="393193_2134091556053_1358987502_31842911_522246761_n"></a><a title="392836_2134090796034_1358987502_31842909_1596108537_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/392836_2134090796034_1358987502_31842909_1596108537_n/6640041"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/041/6640041_03547bec91_m.jpeg" alt="392836_2134090796034_1358987502_31842909_1596108537_n"></a><a title="388082_2134093436100_1358987502_31842914_120798868_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/388082_2134093436100_1358987502_31842914_120798868_n/6640042"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/042/6640042_3e9a4563a1_m.jpeg" alt="388082_2134093436100_1358987502_31842914_120798868_n"></a><a title="384336_2134095636155_209333664_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/384336_2134095636155_209333664_n/6640043"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/043/6640043_ad5fd4ab62_t.jpeg" alt="384336_2134095636155_209333664_n"></a><a title="383087_2134093836110_1358987502_31842915_996667055_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/383087_2134093836110_1358987502_31842915_996667055_n/6640044"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/044/6640044_a829991aeb_m.jpeg" alt="383087_2134093836110_1358987502_31842915_996667055_n"></a><a title="321270_263404140379265_244753448911001_768684_1557184250_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/321270_263404140379265_244753448911001_768684_1557184250_n/6640048"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/048/6640048_edaf8a0d57_m.jpeg" alt="321270_263404140379265_244753448911001_768684_1557184250_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/10/01/stuff-to-make-you-smile-14931585/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/10/01/stuff-to-make-you-smile-14931585/Mon, 01 Oct 2012 19:49:14 +0200 <p>AN EXCELLENT PRESENTATION</p> <p> Have your glasses on, and follow the instructions below.</p> <p> You'll be pleasantly surprised with this one... </p> <p> Type the year only!! </p> <p> Then click the question (?) mark!</p> <p><span> Sit back and enjoy!</span></p> <p><span>CLICK BELOW</span>.....The Screen Moves By Itself!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><a title="http://www.whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/" href="http://www.whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/">Year of your birth</a></span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/09/14/year-of-your-birth-14766225/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/09/14/year-of-your-birth-14766225/Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:27:30 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/09/10/if-you-know-the-song-you-will-like-this-14710911/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/09/10/if-you-know-the-song-you-will-like-this-14710911/Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:51:40 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/notitle/6585248"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/248/6585248_8dd3945e11_m.jpeg" alt=""></a><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/notitle/6585249"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/249/6585249_ab5a1f2f4a_m.jpeg" alt=""></a><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/notitle/6585250"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/250/6585250_738b8d9a64_m.jpeg" alt=""></a><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/notitle/6585251"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/251/6585251_7e31f966c3_m.jpeg" alt=""></a><a title="1971483230_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/1971483230_n/6585252"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/252/6585252_77df7d0dbf_m.jpeg" alt="1971483230_n"></a><a title="7132712308780_1101142_208019988_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/7132712308780_1101142_208019988_n/6585253"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/253/6585253_44d958a135_m.jpeg" alt="7132712308780_1101142_208019988_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/09/04/smile-even-though-its-monday-14667461/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/09/04/smile-even-though-its-monday-14667461/Tue, 04 Sep 2012 09:05:57 +0200 <p><span>If anyone is in London. Go and have a look in the Mall gallery for some seriously great artwork</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Armed Forces Art Society is the premier art society of the United Kingdom's services. The Society mounts a highly prestigious annual exhibition at The Mall Galleries in London which demonstrates the compatibility of the profession of arms and the pursuit of the arts. Exhibitors are skilled amateur and professional painters and sculptors. Members and Associate Members come from all ranks of the three services, both serving and retired, and their spouses.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Click    <span> <a href="http://www.afas.org.uk/2012-preview.html">HERE</a> For a Preview</span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/08/29/armed-forces-art-society-14625865/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/08/29/armed-forces-art-society-14625865/Wed, 29 Aug 2012 21:15:25 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/notitle/6572861"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/861/6572861_2a123b00e4_m.jpeg" alt=""></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/08/28/message-from-essex-police-14618468/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/08/28/message-from-essex-police-14618468/Tue, 28 Aug 2012 21:03:11 +0200 <p>After receiving numerous customer complaints, a German plumbing firm bought their plumbers a new t-shirt designed to make their employees more attractive to customers...</p> <p><a title="486623_10151115843946539_444230563_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/486623_10151115843946539_444230563_n/6520980"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/980/6520980_0ccf8fa082_m.jpeg" alt="486623_10151115843946539_444230563_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/31/german-efficiency-14323777/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/31/german-efficiency-14323777/Tue, 31 Jul 2012 21:47:40 +0200 <p>My Father told me a tale from his time at the end of the war. The war had finished and the Army was tidying things up and one area that needed to be sorted was that of the outstanding court marshals that had to be dealt with.<br> My father had been conscripted in 1939 as a Private in the Beds and Herts regiment and then as time went by was commissioned and ended up at the end of the war as a major.</p> <p>He was seconded onto what I suppose was a pre court marshal panel as a junior officer and they sat and heard the offences that had been committed by various squadies and it would be decided if they were to be sent on to a full court marshal or they could be sent back to their unit to be dealt with by their own CO. </p> <p>One particular case involved a Sapper, ( I suspect that as I was a sapper he thought the story was pertinent to me) who had been charged for going AWOL.</p> <p>This particular Sapper had been desperate to go home on leave and when the first list of names to go back to the UK was posted he was not on it.</p> <p>He thought this grossly unfair as he had not been home for two years and was very much aggrieved however all his protest fell on deaf<br> ears...so...At the dockside the Sapper who had snuck out of camp with his kit bag over his shoulder, stood in line to board the ship taking servicemen back to the UK for some leave...As he got to the head of the queue there were Military and Navel police stood at the gang plank checking travel docs and passes. When his turn came to step forward he threw his kit bag to the floor and started shouting at the top of his voice....stuff like “what’s the point of going home”..” there’s nothing left for me”... why are they making me go home”...stuff like that...The MP’s tried to calm him but he became belligerent and the MP’s having had enough grabbed him by his arms and threw him and his kit bag onto the ship, together with a stern warning that if he tried to get back off he would be arrested and charged.</p> <p>The Sapper got back to the UK and went home After two weeks not wanting to be done as a deserter he went back to the docs and boarded the ship for the return journey using the same tactics as before ...shouting out how he did not want to return etc...and getting himself thrown on board again...</p> <p>When the ship docked he went straight to his unit and handed himself in to the guardroom...he was charged and was put in front of this Pre court marshal hearing.</p> <p>Having heard all the evidence The presiding officer, a brigadier, wanted to make an example of him and Send him on to a full court marshal...however my father and the other junior officer persuaded him to send him back to his unit and leave it to his CO to punish him...after all they said “ we don’t want anyone to know how easily he made a fool of the RMP’s “..</p> <p>The Sapper went back to his unit and what is known as ROP Restriction of privileges from his CO and I suspect a pat on the back for his outstanding initiative!!,, </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/16/the-thin-green-line-14119339/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/16/the-thin-green-line-14119339/Mon, 16 Jul 2012 08:28:37 +0200 <p>Just another tale from my chit chatting with patients that I carry</p> <p>I have also carried a lady ...we will call her Lizbeth,... She is not that chatty, she told me a little about herself...she worked for the ministry of defence during the war..Mainly clerical stuff...but she would only answer the questions i asked her and never expand...until that is I asked about her departed husband..it went something like this...So Lizbeth “how long is it since your Husband Past....She said ”it must be 20 years now...he was such a lovely man... I said ” did you meet him during the war?”</p> <p>Then she started to flow.....”Yes I met him when I was in London...he was a dashing airman, he was with a Bomber squadron he had volunteered at the start and was a flight engineer.</p> <p>We met at a dance, we were both 20 years old and within a month we were married, I know that might sound strange to you but you tended to live for the present ...there was not much point looking too far ahead as you didn’t know what the future was going to bring...</p> <p>“Did you see much of him then ?”</p> <p>No..two weeks after we were married he had to jump out of the plane and was captured by the Germans and spent the rest of the war as a prisoner of war...I didn’t see him again for nearly three years...</p> <p>“Was he shot down the?</p> <p>No...well sort of...you will laugh if I tell you!</p> <p>No I won’t ..what happen?</p> <p>Well they had just completed a bombing over Germany and were heading back, but the plane got hit by German guns and the engines were shot u, The pilot told the crew that they were going to go down soon as the engines were about to give out...he told my husband and the rear gunner to go to the door and get ready to jump...well they did so and the plane was making an awful noise and they were told to jump...well he landed and was picked up by some French people and hidden in a barn, but the next day the Germans turned up, one of the French had informed on him...and he was sent to a camp for the rest of the war.</p> <p>“There was nothing funny about that Lizbeth!” I said</p> <p>But I haven’t finished. Later on in camp some other prisoners came, some from his squadron. He asked after the rest of the crew and they told him that the other chap he jumped with made it back...but what happened after they had jumped was that the engines spluttered back to life and the rest of them flew home and landed safely.<br> After the war he went to a reunion and apart from one of the men they all got through it ok...My husband met the pilot of the plane for the first time since that night,...the first thing he said was “if you didn’t want me on your crew you only had to say”...they shook hands ...he was also told that the Frenchman that gave him up to the Germans ...did not survive the war and was dealt with by his own people.<br> I said “It must have been hard for you both after such a short time together and then to be apart for so long”</p> <p>She said...” some people go searching for true love, I found mine at a dance in Lambeth”</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/14/the-thin-green-line-14103069/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/14/the-thin-green-line-14103069/Sat, 14 Jul 2012 08:49:46 +0200 <p><a title="547087_10151640847285752_746990751_12242808_1653851341_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/547087_10151640847285752_746990751_12242808_1653851341_n/6473398"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/398/6473398_6c62130f39_m.jpeg" alt="547087_10151640847285752_746990751_12242808_1653851341_n"></a><a title="545903_10150828959366344_567551343_9665053_1108260677_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/545903_10150828959366344_567551343_9665053_1108260677_n/6473399"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/399/6473399_1faa17599b_m.jpeg" alt="545903_10150828959366344_567551343_9665053_1108260677_n"></a><a title="483976_3573037609658_1384582535_3453905_1719588669_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/483976_3573037609658_1384582535_3453905_1719588669_n/6473400"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/400/6473400_68b6050896_m.jpeg" alt="483976_3573037609658_1384582535_3453905_1719588669_n"></a><a title="430699_365719743450075_177132712308780_1261616_1436806482_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/430699_365719743450075_177132712308780_1261616_1436806482_n/6473405"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/405/6473405_efafe4aafd_m.jpeg" alt="430699_365719743450075_177132712308780_1261616_1436806482_n"></a><a title="429241_10150557901431300_691901299_9416038_942119242_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/429241_10150557901431300_691901299_9416038_942119242_n/6473406"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/406/6473406_d0d84b4ea9_m.jpeg" alt="429241_10150557901431300_691901299_9416038_942119242_n"></a><a title="559086_414460045262898_214585654_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/559086_414460045262898_214585654_n/6473413"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/413/6473413_3d6190d442_m.jpeg" alt="559086_414460045262898_214585654_n"></a><a title="425436_323631381021683_100001244722843_994981_1585924744_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/425436_323631381021683_100001244722843_994981_1585924744_n/6473415"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/415/6473415_3237fd0b26_m.jpeg" alt="425436_323631381021683_100001244722843_994981_1585924744_n"></a><a title="424859_177260482391418_150159261768207_277541_1184161898_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/424859_177260482391418_150159261768207_277541_1184161898_n/6473416"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/416/6473416_6e25d5d95e_m.jpeg" alt="424859_177260482391418_150159261768207_277541_1184161898_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/07/smile-its-the-weekend-14064295/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/07/07/smile-its-the-weekend-14064295/Sat, 07 Jul 2012 17:11:15 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/06/09/how-cute-is-this-13833970/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/06/09/how-cute-is-this-13833970/Sat, 09 Jun 2012 12:24:51 +0200 <p><a title="funny-pictures-bird-walks-behind-elephant" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/funny_pictures_bird_walks_behind_elephant/6376881"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/881/6376881_239a817a3e_m.jpeg" alt="funny-pictures-bird-walks-behind-elephant"></a><a title="575301_10150811424829691_662609690_9409185_1286094509_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/575301_10150811424829691_662609690_9409185_1286094509_n/6376884"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/884/6376884_7cb9c5bd83_m.jpeg" alt="575301_10150811424829691_662609690_9409185_1286094509_n"><br></a><a title="548403_10150773470769813_750704812_11540899_493212647_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/548403_10150773470769813_750704812_11540899_493212647_n/6376890"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/890/6376890_87c920b6cf_m.jpeg" alt="548403_10150773470769813_750704812_11540899_493212647_n"></a><a title="535402_10150649499411300_658614942_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/535402_10150649499411300_658614942_n/6376891"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/891/6376891_b8380d0180_m.jpeg" alt="535402_10150649499411300_658614942_n"></a><a title="533474_447489385267321_284838238199104_1870291_912320490_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/533474_447489385267321_284838238199104_1870291_912320490_n/6376893"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/893/6376893_bfdf6a1a52_m.jpeg" alt="533474_447489385267321_284838238199104_1870291_912320490_n"></a><a title="528921_3592625699348_1384582535_3462678_624843232_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/528921_3592625699348_1384582535_3462678_624843232_n/6376895"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/895/6376895_1b3a961d80_m.jpeg" alt="528921_3592625699348_1384582535_3462678_624843232_n"></a><a title="527549_10150980791588327_630463326_12937345_1871653895_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/527549_10150980791588327_630463326_12937345_1871653895_n/6376896"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/896/6376896_b7f6075390_m.jpeg" alt="527549_10150980791588327_630463326_12937345_1871653895_n"></a><a title="431081_10150628061778161_503493160_9296740_1785829374_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/431081_10150628061778161_503493160_9296740_1785829374_n/6376897"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/897/6376897_b015ad3aaf_m.jpeg" alt="431081_10150628061778161_503493160_9296740_1785829374_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/05/19/a-little-smile-for-the-weekend-13707377/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/05/19/a-little-smile-for-the-weekend-13707377/Sat, 19 May 2012 20:15:11 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/05/13/this-would-perk-your-day-up-13672354/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/05/13/this-would-perk-your-day-up-13672354/Sun, 13 May 2012 16:35:12 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/05/07/more-clever-stuff-13639296/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/05/07/more-clever-stuff-13639296/Mon, 07 May 2012 10:01:02 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/29/give-the-man-a-medal-13595016/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/29/give-the-man-a-medal-13595016/Sun, 29 Apr 2012 17:12:34 +0200 <p><a title="kingL1503_306x325" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/kingl1503_306x325/6325040"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/040/6325040_7d9901c72b_m.jpeg" alt="kingL1503_306x325"></a><a title="images (1)" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/images_1/6325042"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/042/6325042_5f2429bcc7_m.jpeg" alt="images (1)"></a><a title="funny-sign-dont-shoplift" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/funny_sign_dont_shoplift/6325043"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/043/6325043_ed011d51bd_m.jpeg" alt="funny-sign-dont-shoplift"></a><a title="562786_387842324571150_177132712308780_1329512_880035321_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/562786_387842324571150_177132712308780_1329512_880035321_n/6325044"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/044/6325044_4d9d944c79_m.jpeg" alt="562786_387842324571150_177132712308780_1329512_880035321_n"></a><a title="562784_10150648921476300_691901299_9750280_1625013653_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/562784_10150648921476300_691901299_9750280_1625013653_n/6325045"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/045/6325045_8fc726eb7f_m.jpeg" alt="562784_10150648921476300_691901299_9750280_1625013653_n"></a><a title="557848_380890375266345_177132712308780_1309258_183619389_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/557848_380890375266345_177132712308780_1309258_183619389_n/6325046"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/046/6325046_13729787f5_m.jpeg" alt="557848_380890375266345_177132712308780_1309258_183619389_n"></a><a title="552296_10150607379901300_691901299_9593353_1176837985_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/552296_10150607379901300_691901299_9593353_1176837985_n/6325048"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/048/6325048_9621951850_m.jpeg" alt="552296_10150607379901300_691901299_9593353_1176837985_n"></a><a title="549712_372091296146253_177132712308780_1280482_1855121522_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/549712_372091296146253_177132712308780_1280482_1855121522_n/6325049"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/049/6325049_2904a46502_m.jpeg" alt="549712_372091296146253_177132712308780_1280482_1855121522_n"></a><a title="543629_370080923043395_100001244722843_80023143_1522927716_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/543629_370080923043395_100001244722843_80023143_1522927716_n/6325050"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/050/6325050_91ecb64962_m.jpeg" alt="543629_370080923043395_100001244722843_80023143_1522927716_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/22/a-smile-to-start-the-week-13560116/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/22/a-smile-to-start-the-week-13560116/Sun, 22 Apr 2012 22:44:31 +0200 <p><a title="577277_3094631048940_1358987502_32142904_522902920_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/577277_3094631048940_1358987502_32142904_522902920_n/6316832"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/832/6316832_ad6d05ac4f_m.jpeg" alt="577277_3094631048940_1358987502_32142904_522902920_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/18/don-t-look-too-hard-13537053/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/18/don-t-look-too-hard-13537053/Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:44:05 +0200 <p>Rule One:<br> If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you won’t be picking anything else up.<br> Rule Two:<br> You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.<br> Rule Three:<br> I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.<br> Rule Four:<br> I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.<br> Rule Five:<br> You may think that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”<br> Rule Six:<br> I have no doubt you are a popular bloke, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.<br> Rule Seven:<br> As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the film, you should not be dating my daughter. She is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Firth of Forth Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like cleaning my car?<br> Rule Eight:<br> The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:<br> - Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.<br> - Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.<br> - Places where there is darkness.<br> - Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.<br> - Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.<br> - Films with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.<br> - Rugby games are okay.<br> - Old folks homes are better.<br> Rule Nine:<br> Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.<br> Rule Ten:<br> Be afraid. Be very afraid. My daughter is most precious to me and you have a lot more years to live than I have. I have done most of the things that I have wanted to do with my life you have done none, Even if convicted Life only means I will do only about 10 years.</p> <p>NOTE: If you still have the guts to date my daughter, complete the “Permission to date my daughter” application BELOW.</p> <p>Application for Permission to Date My Daughter<br> NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, current medical report from your doctor and personal recommendation from your clergy.</p> <p>NAME______________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________<br> HEIGHT_______ WEIGHT________ IQ______ GPA_________<br> NATIONAL INSURANCE No #___________<br> DRIVERS LICENSE #__________<br> BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________<br> HOME ADDRESS____________________ CITY/COUNTY___________ POST CODE______<br> Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No<br> Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No<br> If No, explain:<br> _____________________________________________________________<br> _____________________________________________________________________<br> Number of years they have been married ______________________<br> If less than your age, explain<br> ____________________________________________________________________<br> ____________________________________________________________________<br> ACCESSORIES SECTION:<br> A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No<br> B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No<br> C. A waterbed? __Yes __No<br> D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No<br> E. A tattoo? __Yes __No<br> F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,<br> pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No<br> (IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUEAPPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)<br> ESSAY SECTION:<br> In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you?<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> REFERENCES SECTION:<br> Church you attend<br> ___________________________________________________<br> How often you attend<br> ________________________________________________<br> When would be the best time to interview your:<br> father? _____________<br> mother? _____________<br> pastor? _____________<br> SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:<br> Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.<br> A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:<br> ____________________________________________________<br> B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:<br> ____________________________________________________<br> C: A woman’s place is in the:<br> ____________________________________________________<br> D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:<br> ____________________________________________________<br> E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> ______________________________________________________________<br> F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:<br> (Note if your answer starts with A or T your application is rejected<br> ____________________________________________________<br> G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________<br> I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, .</p> <p>Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)<br> ____________________ _____________________<br> Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature<br> ____________________ _____________________<br> Pastor/Priest/ </p> <p>Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.<br> You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. ( you might watch your back)<br> NOTE: Do NOT apply if you haven’t read the rules </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/16/how-to-date-my-daughter-13516792/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/16/how-to-date-my-daughter-13516792/Mon, 16 Apr 2012 11:27:16 +0200 <p><a title="309922_10150592573811571_51771366570_9228609_232699088_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/309922_10150592573811571_51771366570_9228609_232699088_n/6303814"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/814/6303814_5475b81ecf_m.jpeg" alt="309922_10150592573811571_51771366570_9228609_232699088_n"></a><a title="317163_2134092996089_1358987502_31842913_1248671253_n (1)" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/317163_2134092996089_1358987502_31842913_1248671253_n_1/6303815"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/815/6303815_a59235889f_m.jpeg" alt="317163_2134092996089_1358987502_31842913_1248671253_n (1)"></a><a title="321270_263404140379265_244753448911001_768684_1557184250_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/321270_263404140379265_244753448911001_768684_1557184250_n/6303816"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/816/6303816_edaf8a0d57_m.jpeg" alt="321270_263404140379265_244753448911001_768684_1557184250_n"></a><a title="375651_2134095276146_1358987502_31842917_2021722576_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/375651_2134095276146_1358987502_31842917_2021722576_n/6303818"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/818/6303818_932259a46b_m.jpeg" alt="375651_2134095276146_1358987502_31842917_2021722576_n"></a><a title="379005_2307915060856_1338706363_32070247_1453734602_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/379005_2307915060856_1338706363_32070247_1453734602_n/6303819"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/819/6303819_0dafc82756_m.jpeg" alt="379005_2307915060856_1338706363_32070247_1453734602_n"></a><a title="383087_2134093836110_1358987502_31842915_996667055_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/383087_2134093836110_1358987502_31842915_996667055_n/6303820"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/820/6303820_a829991aeb_m.jpeg" alt="383087_2134093836110_1358987502_31842915_996667055_n"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/12/random-stuff-13491960/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/12/random-stuff-13491960/Thu, 12 Apr 2012 09:11:49 +0200 <p>(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this!) </p> <p>Did you hear about the Pre-School teacher who was helping one of the children put on his "Wellie boots"?</p> <p>He asked for help and she could see why.. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little "Wellies" still didn't want to go on.</p> <p>By the time they got the second "Wellie" on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Miss, they're on the wrong feet."</p> <p>She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the "Wellies" off than it was putting them on.</p> <p>She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the "Wellie's" back on, this time on the right feet..He then announced, "These aren't my Wellies." </p> <p>She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting "Wellies" off his little feet.</p> <p>No sooner had they gotten the "Wellies" off when he said, "They're my brother's "Wellie's", my mom made me wear 'them.' </p> <p>Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the "Wellies" on his feet again. </p> <p>Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your gloves?" </p> <p>He said, "I stuffed 'them in the toes of my Wellies".</p> <p>She will be eligible for parole in three years!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/05/the-wellie-boots-13412467/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/05/the-wellie-boots-13412467/Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:55:38 +0200 <p>As you well know, some of us have been known to have had<br> brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd<br> social session over the years.</p> <p>A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some<br> friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red<br> wine.</p> <p>Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the<br> limit, I did something I've never done before ... I took a bus<br> home. Sure enough I passed a police checkpoint but as it was a bus<br> they waved it past.</p> <p>I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real<br> surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure<br> where I got it from! If you know of anybody missing a bus<br> please let me know so I can arrange to return it.</p> <p>John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,<br> "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !"<br> That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!<br> He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."<br> She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"<br> John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."<br> "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.<br> The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.<br> The man chuckled leeringly and said,<br> "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."<br> She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to<br> make him come, and the other time he fell asleep". </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/02/couple-of-jokes-for-you-13386173/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p> http://jackfrost.blog.co.uk/2012/04/02/couple-of-jokes-for-you-13386173/Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:41:42 +0200 <p><a title="306382_2134092716082_1358987502_31842912_1507878851_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/306382_2134092716082_1358987502_31842912_1507878851_n/6278812"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/812/6278812_82e61d0534_m.jpeg" alt="306382_2134092716082_1358987502_31842912_1507878851_n"></a><a title="307132_2134091276046_1358987502_31842910_1625542209_n" href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/307132_2134091276046_1358987502_31842910_1625542209_n/6278813"><img src="http://data7.blog.de/media/813/6278813_eb178148f7_m.jpeg" alt="307132_2134091276046_1358987502_31842910_1625542209_n"></a><a title="315620_2134090396024_1358987502_31842908_1110754399_n" 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